Neatly avoiding the Chinese censors, iafrica.com's secret Olympic diarist smuggled out exclusive behind-the-scenes footage from the Beijing Games...

Thursday, 7 August: We're settled in to the village — incredible to be here. Athletes everywhere from all over the world, with plenty of famous faces. Andrew Cronjé, one of the hockey players, is South Africa's groupie extraordinaire, taking pictures of everyone he can find. Cornered poor Anna Ivanovic at lunch. Building's great, food is fantastic, facilities are unbelievable, and everything was going well until dinner, when we were told we all had to wear green Crocs for the opening ceremony. No, really. Sartorial suicide; tomorrow could be seriously embarrassing.

Friday, 8 August: What a night! Walking into the stadium was magical and if the rest of the teams hadn't been sniggering at our Crocs, it would have been perfect. Still, the Danes were in denim shorts, so we weren't the only disasters. And the rest of the night was incredible, although the fireworks definitely looked better on the TV highlights package afterwards, and the little girl singing was strangely out of synch with her song. Cronjé nailed Rafael Nadal; he's quite the stalker. Games begin properly tomorrow — can't wait!

Saturday, 9 August: Swimming got underway today, so watched some of that in the pool. Seating arrangements are quite strange — our swimmers sat on one side of the pool, and team management on the other, so they couldn't talk to each other. Odd. Spent the afternoon with Ryk and Roland at the women's beach volleyball, which was riveting. Definitely going to watch more.

Sunday, 10 August: Bad day for the hockey crowd — the women lost 5-0 to the Dutch, and Cronjé was found in a cupboard in Roger Federer's bedroom taking pictures. Roger was very good about it, but Cronjé's been given a warning by Village security. Met LeBron James and Kobe Bryant, which was pretty cool, and spotted Ryk being swarmed by members of the Bulgarian women's weightlifting team, who were flirting with him outrageously. He gets all the girls, does Ryk.

Monday, 11 August: Bad day for the swimmers, especially after Athens: we were all really excited for the 4x100 metre relay, but the guys only finished seventh. It was a very quick race, and the guys tried really hard, but just not quite enough. Swimming management seemed to take the result surprisingly well though. Quiet night at dinner, where our waitress was very sweet, but a little on the plump side. Mentioned it to Ian Symons and Marvin Bam from the hockey team, and a Games official overheard us, and went off very quickly. Strange.

Wednesday, 13 August: Different waitress this morning — apparently the one from yesterday got a new job making trainers and sports clothes at a factory in the north of China. The same official from last night asked if I was happy with her replacement; felt a nagging sense of guilt I couldn't quite put my finger on. Ryk had lunch with two of the women wrestlers from Germany; he really does know to charm the ladies. And he was more successful than the hockey players — 10-nil down to Australia. Not a good week so far at the Games.

Friday, 15 August: Very bad day for America — Michael Phelps won his seventh gold medal, but it was only an Olympic record, not a world record. You could sense how let down the American team felt — Phelps ate dinner on his own, and no one's really talking to him. Not that we're on fire: we have no medals, and even Zimbabwe has three. And for swimming, of all things — most Zimbabweans can't swim at all, let alone win Olympic medals. Athletics starts tomorrow, though, so hopefully we'll do something there.

Saturday, 16 August: Quite a day for Usain Bolt: he was woken up at 6am to discover Cronjé under his bed trying to steal his socks as a keepsake, but shrugged that off to win the 100 metres with ease. Never seen a race quite like it — he looked like he was strolling. Cronjé's on final warning, and was very quiet as we all watched the rugby together. Nice touch of solidarity from the Springboks, scoring the same number points as we've won medals. Meanwhile, Zimbabwe is up to four. Not good.

Sunday, 17 August: Had breakfast with Donovan Cech, who was unlucky not to get a medal, as he's a great paddler. We were both pretty jealous: Ryk was having breakfast with the Russian shot put and discus champion, who clearly had her eye on him. He's one smooth guy. Spent the day at the athletics, which was great fun, watching with a couple of the Spanish trampolining team. Sometimes you have to wonder how some sports get into the Games. Still, if it wins you medals.

  • Contact Dan at dan@metropolis.co.za


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