Fiery words coming out of New Zealand this week, as Chief Hobbit John Key laid into the Springboks for opting to stay on in Australia, rather than jetting into Auckland at the start of the week. There've been some odd flight decisions on the away leg of this Tri-Nations for South Africa ? Peter de Villiers has proved a maverick travel agent, which has at least kept him in character ? and Saturday's result will dictate the retrospective wisdom of the new itinerary.

But it's beyond the Tri-Nations we need to look, for the little island and its aggrieved leader will be ready for our return in two years time, and if they're all still sulking about delaying the touchdown in New Zealand, the Springboks could be in for some unforgettable hospitality.

New Zealand is a beautiful country, and if it wasn't three weeks away from anywhere else on the planet, more people would visit a breathtaking part of the world; half the reason so many South Africans live there is that they've gone on holiday, and simply haven't had the strength to make the journey home. But aside from Auckland, a relatively modern town with a decent population, New Zealand is a country of small provincial towns and villages, endless stretches of exquisite scenery, and large people with tattoos playing rugby.

And it's into that rural abyss that the Springboks could disappear, depending on how New Zealand engineers the allocation of build-up games and training bases for all of the teams. Theoretically it's an IRB controlled operation in which teams have a say, but it wouldn't take too much quiet skulduggery to ensure that South Africa's defence of their World Cup begins from shared tents in a small field just outside of Rotorua, or the second floor of a youth hostel in Dunedin, a village famed for its delightful weather.

It wouldn't be a novel tactic ? I've been encouraging Danny Jordaan for months to book Brazil into the Road Lodge in Rustenberg, Spain into the Anglo miners' dormitories on the West Rand (nice and cosy), and the Italians into the large empty shed just been the maintenance yard on Os du Randt's farm just outside of Bloemfontein (Os is quite happy to lease it out). But while it'll be great fun watching ?100 000-a-week footballers coming to grips with blue collar life, having the Boks marooned in the rural backwaters of a third world country won't spark quite such a smile.

What will also affect the hospitality we receive in 2011 ? and what is of greater importance ? is Saturday's result. Peter de Villiers is all dignified humility and mixed religious metaphor when we win, but lose, and it's the coach versus the world as the language gets awfully colourful. Four from four should have had the tournament sewn up, but now there's a chance the All Blacks might just burgle it: expect a full assault from De Villiers if that happens, with Kiwis amongst those feeling the backlash.

Not that it should happen: despite a week of headlines, with the hobbits haranguing De Villiers and the rest of the world having a go at John Smit, the Springboks are good enough to win their final Tri-Nations Test of 2009, all the more so after last week's chastening defeat in the bogey city of Brisbane. With a win will come the title, and a deserved one for South Africa, albeit one that will only enlarge the Springbok target in Kiwi sights come 2011.

Still, wherever the Boks do end up come the World Cup, there's a reasonable chance they'll feel at home: latest statistics suggest Afrikaans has overtaken Orc as New Zealand's most widely spoken language, and every weekend the smell of braai smoke filters through the clear Kiwi air. A caravan park in Invercargill might not be the most luxurious of bases come 2011, but enough South Africans have colonised New Zealand to make it a strong South African outpost, so we should have decent support come the World Cup, with a team to match. Even if the Chief Hobbit doesn't particularly like us.

  • Swirling winds at Euphoria yesterday, making for some challenging golf; not challenging enough for Roy van Blerk and Brandt van der Walt, who beat off the competition to lift this year's South African Audi Quattro Cup title, and win the right to represent us in Sydney later this at the World Final. Annika Sorenstam's course is playing a little easier now that the rough's been trimmed back, but it's still a formidable challenge, so Van Blerk and Van der Walt thoroughly deserve their victory; now for that most delightful of achievements, a South African victory on Australian soil. Don't forget to ask the locals about the Ashes while you're there, gentlemen.

  • Contact Dan at dan@metropolis.co.za