Norway has assorted claims to fame. Salmon. Alpine skiers. A fondness for pan-fried reindeer. And, um, many other things. But the game of rugby is not one of them, a point underlined by Premier Soccer League boss Kjetil Siem on Thursday afternoon.

“I thought rugby was a useless game,” the Norwegian admitted; a bold claim to make anywhere in South Africa, let alone when you’re sitting at a press conference next to 115 kilograms of chiselled Chiliboy Ralepelle, and much the same of Juan Smith.

But Siem has become a gradual convert, and will be watching Saturday afternoon’s Absa Currie Cup final; just not live. For like the growing number of sports fans across the country who have developed a passion for both rugby and football, he’s had to make a choice, and when you’re the Commissioner of the national soccer league, a pilgrimage to Pretoria’s blue cathedral has to fall behind local football’s marquee clash: the Soweto derby, the game that divides South Africa like no other.

It’s an extraordinary afternoon of sport in South Africa, and one that probably should have been avoided — ask them privately, and you’ll probably find that the sponsors would have preferred separate weekend on which to leverage two such high-profile profiles, let alone the fans amongst us who’d liked to have gone to both matches. But shifting dates didn’t happen, and so a good week for Absa becomes a remarkable one: having already launched next year’s Absa Cape Epic (and caused near cardiac arrest in Joel Stransky, Shaun Bartlett, Michael Mol and Chester Williams when the 2010 celebrity charity riders had had a first glimpse of the route), the bank now has an almighty Saturday to brand lavishly. And lavishly brand it has done...

Siem’s comments came at a joint press conference at the piazza at Montecasino, which will by lunchtime tomorrow will be awash with fans who couldn’t get tickets for either game (full house signs have been up at both games for some time now), and will have to make do with giant screens instead. Ralepelle and Smith, both injured and thus out of the final, represented the rugby front; soccer went one better, and produced both Soweto captains, although more remarkable than the presence of Jimmy Tau and Lehlohonolo Seema, was the incongruous sight of them beside the rugby players, looking more like beaming mascots than fellow athletes.

There was much theatre for the media’s benefit, with the players swapping kit to a barrage of flashes. Seema used to play for Bloemfontein Celtic, and so jumped cheerfully into a Cheetahs jersey and makarakapa; the Pirates kit Smith received in return might not have made quite such an impact, but did raise the Free State skipper from the slumber he looked dangerously close to earlier in the presser. Tau, meanwhile, an avowed Bulls fan, jumped cheerfully his blue kit and helmet, but the organisers clearly hadn’t done much research, for they’ve unwittingly split the House of Ralepelle: all of Chiliboy’s family, the big hooker included, are ardent Pirates fans, and so this morning’s media pictures of him squeezed sausage-like into a Chiefs jersey could see him disowned by the time tomorrow’s game kicks off.

It was the soccer players who played the straighter bat, politely defusing questions about the Orlando pitch (which closely resembles a recently harvested tobacco field) and a possible crisis at Pirates (three games lost in a row; four, and Pirates players will be in witness protection programs by Sunday); the rugby highlights included Chili’s admission that missing the final had reduced him to tears, and Smith’s smiling assertion that flyhalf Jan-Louis Potgeiter, who leaves Bloemfontein for Pretoria next season, wouldn’t leave the field uninjured at the end of the game.

All rather light-hearted stuff then, but tomorrow will be anything but. Chiefs started the season dismally, but have steadied a little; Pirates looked great, but have lost direction in recent weeks. The resultant derby, quality of pitch and recent form of both teams notwithstanding, is lined up as a cracker (and it’s an afternoon game, so at least time the lights can’t go out). And then the Currie Cup’s new grudge match, as the Bulls try and see off a team that, despite being effectively a Grey Old Boys team minus the players lost to the Sharks, continues to punch above its weight. Bulls might be favourites, but Os du Randt has been working magic with his young front row, and so Bryan Habana’s farewell won’t be an automatic celebration.

I’ll be at the latter of the two games, wedged amongst the horned, baying blue masses, but I’ll be firmly glued to action in Soweto, where I think Pirates, who’ll miss Benson Mhlongo, will lose out to the AmaKhosi; and in defence of the underdog (and recalling a column from a few years back, where I gave Free State as much chance of winning a Pretoria final as Uganda have at the next ICC Trophy), I’ll back the Cheetahs on Saturday. But as a comparative neutral, neither of the results is utmost importance; instead, it’s the thrill, passion and rivalry inherent of two great South African events that holds the true value. Bring on the biggest weekend of 2009.

  • Today’s a crucial day in Springbok flanker Rob Louw’s battle with cancer, as he has a crucial procedure; thoughts are with him today, and tomorrow, where’ll be skipping orange or baby blue, and opting instead for pink. Rob has asked as many people as possible to wear something pink at the game, not in support of him, but rather of cancer victims everywhere. Ribbon, armband, tie if you’re in the President’s Bob — whatever it is, if you’re going to the game, the gesture would be much appreciated. And a quiet word of support in the direction of Houston, where Rob is receiving treatment, wouldn’t go astray — the big man appreciates it greatly.

  • At 143 kilograms, a healthy beard, and a fondness for beer Homer Simpson could only marvel at, Tank Lanning is hard to miss as a former prop forward; he’s also a recognised authority on the game, commentating regularly on SuperSport, and writing the influential Front Row Grunt blog. And now he’s ventured into the world of online television — in the company of me. Tank And Dan TV launched yesterday, a weekly show on the South African game: this week, we preview the final, get Tiaan Strauss’s thoughts on the game, and watch Tank and Robbie Kempson explain the niceties of scrumming. Mesmerising viewing, Tank and I both agree; check it out, and let me know what you think.

  • Contact Dan at dan@metropolis.co.za


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