It’s rather sweet, in a Hollywood underdog takes on the cool establishment way; there’ll be no victory for the little guy, I’m afraid, but there’s an inherent romance to it nonetheless.

You’ll be well acquainted by now with Cape Town’s leading celebrity sports side, the Pinelands Mighty Dodos, a chiselled collection of square-jawed hockey players who combine gladiatorial excellence with unending social obligations.

Jacuzzi parties with Scandinavian lingerie models, nightclub and restaurant openings aplenty, exclusive invitations to Helen Zille’s legendary nude fondue parties: the life of a Mighty Dodo is a social rollercoaster of celebrity excess.

Which puts hockey’s finest collective at the opposite end of the spectrum to a small village sports team called the Noordhoek Vikings.

Pale, frail, and rarely seen beyond the hedged boundaries of their ocean hamlet, the Vikings are run by a guy called Bob Skinstad, and, to their credit, embrace a variety of sporting endeavours. The Vikings chess team, skippered by Dougie Boyes, performed admirably once again this year (a large poster of Gary Kasparov adorns the team’s headquarters at The Toad, a small shebeen that serves as Noordhoek’s de facto social headquarters); the croquet squad, under the captaincy of Robbie Fleck, is enthusiastic if not naturally suited to the game; and Skinstad himself is driving force behind a lawn bowls outfit that has given the Vikings a medium of expression that skirts the physical limitations of the players.

Skinstad, who some of you may remember from his rugby days, is now back in Cape Town, splitting his time between working as a shoe salesman, writing copy for an online publication called Twitter, and serving as Matthew Pearce’s apprentice. But his passion is the Vikings, chairing meetings at The Toad (the lads have an impressive baking roster for each get-together), and cheering on his bespectacled gang of country bumpkins. Which has led to the following challenge...

Support at Loftus on Saturday for Rob Louw in particular, and cancer victims in general, was impressively evident in the amount of pink worn (no news of Rob today, I’m afraid; I’ll update you as soon as possible); how to extend that support has been a regular question I’ve fielded since the final, and the solution comes in the form of the now internationally established Movember, a global campaign to turn the planet’s men into adult movie stars. The aim is to get as many men as possible to grow moustaches, for the collective raising of awareness of cancer in men.

The Mighty Dodos, being a socially conscious collective — we’ve done extensive work supporting the employment of young women from Eastern Europe in Cape Town, and have donated money to a sports charity for disadvantaged rugby players in Gauteng called ‘The Lions’ — have naturally embraced the cause, and a shadowy fuzz has begun to sprout across the collected Dodo visage. (Indiana Jones and Mike Van Beard, two of our star players, can grow a full Hashim Amla in under two hours, and as such already have glorious Merv Hughes ‘taches.)

There’s no doubt the Magnum PI look will be mastered effortlessly; however, we have a little competition. Much as United inspire village teams, or Tiger has got everyone to the golf course, so the Dodos have drawn a challenge from the Vikings, who have thrown down the gauntlet (dropped it, actually, as it was rather heavy): which sports team can grow the finest facial hair across the board. Will it be Skinstad and his village people, or the strapping warriors of Pinelands? I know, it’s not a really contest — but it gives the Vikings the chance to rub shoulders with the likes of Big Lurker Fleming, Petal Le Grange, Dobs Dabrowski and The Wall, which already has Skinstad reaching excitedly for his Mighty Dodos Panini sticker collection.

There are plenty of other familiar faces nurturing a snor. Big Tank Lanning has grown, shaved off and re-grown four since Monday. Joel Stransky and Shaun Bartlett are rumoured to be having a go. Seth Rotherham is shaping up nicely (I have a sneaking suspicion he’s been dying to grow one for years), and Little Howard Kahn from Rugby365, in the right light and with the aid of a small telescope, has what could generously be referred to as a light hint of fluff.

The real battle, though, is between the Mighty Dodos and the Noordhoek Vikings, and while Skinstad’s mo is coming along reasonably well (he’s starting to look disconcertingly like last year’s Miss Australia), it’s the Dodos who should walk this one comfortably. Don’t forget the cause (and send good karma the way of Rob in Houston), and if you’re up for it, grow a moustache yourself; and look out for a Movember gallery on the site at the end of the month, starring celebratory Dodos, and co-starring Skinstad and his vanquished Norsemen, who’ll at least have had the opportunity to spend time with some genuine sporting stars. It really is rather sweet.

  • Contact Dan at dan@metropolis.co.za

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