QUOTES OF THE WEEK

  • "Do you think I would enter into a contract with that mob? No chance. I would not sell them a virus. That is a 'no' by the way." — Classic Fergie! Sir Alex Ferguson responds to claims that Cristiano Ronaldo has signed a secret contract with Real Madrid.

  • "It is two-minute noodles for tea for the next week as I can't afford anything else." — Kiwi bowler Iain O'Brien is a little skint after losing a game of golf to Daniel Vettori.

  • "I mentioned that to Chris Broad as well, that I'd like to get the $4000 back from Brisbane but it hasn't been forthcoming just yet." — Australia captain Ricky Ponting wants a refund on his fine for a slow over rate after the Aussies finished the Adelaide Test seven overs to the good.

UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES
  • "This unexpected but exciting surprise means I will be putting tennis on hold for the foreseeable future" — Former world number one Lindsay Davenport discovers she is pregnant.

ULTERIOR MOTIVES

  • "We're not good friends at all, I just pretend to get on with him because he's bloody fast and I don't want him to hurt me in the nets." — Proteas spinner Paul Harris reveals why he is befriending speedster Dale Steyn.

DISTORTING REALITY

  • "Having done almost 16 years on the trot in management terms, I felt I needed a break" — Funny, we thought Newcastle fired Sam Allardyce...

UNFORTUNATE TRUTH

  • "When business deals go bad, businessmen will just up sticks; there is no emotional attachment to the game." — Former England captain Michael Atherton would not be surprised if millionaire Allen Stanford pulled out of cricket.

  • "Australia is an amazing country to tour. Beautiful, dazzling and seductive, it can also be like the female spider that kills and eats her unsuspecting mate shortly after the most amazing copulation." — South African journalist Neil Manthorp on traveling Down Under.

DUMB IDEA

  • "It's impossible to win at Barca's stadium. They are devastating. I think it is their year" — Former Real Madrid boss Bernd Schuster got himself fired with this beaut.

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