An IPL boss just can’t stop talking smack, two boxers refuse to say anything nasty, and a top Proteas player’s sister keeps celebrating her brother’s wicket… It’s all getting a little surreal in our sports quotes of the week…

The IPL has provided plenty of fireworks on the field, as the best players in the world entertain South Africa, but thanks to some larger-than-life personalities like Shah Rukh Khan, the media pundits have had a field day with the quotes!

And as the Sanzar split sits ominously on the horizon, the veiled barbs are starting to fly between Saru’s Andy Marinos and his Australian counterpart John O’Neill.

HOLD YOUR TONGUE:

"I get a lot of hate mail which blame me for all the decisions taken within Kolkata Knight Riders. I've saved them and I want to go around to all the houses and say 'Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo' ... suck on this."

Perhaps Kolkata Knight Riders owner, Shah Rukh Khan should have thought twice before baiting his critics before the start of the 2009 IPL season… well, at least until they have a couple of wins under their belt – as it stands the KKR only have one victory. So he may have to wait another year for his vengeance.

He may also have considered holding off on the promo advert, which, of course, we have for you below…

Poor old Jacques Kallis, meanwhile, is battling to find anybody to back him in the IPL — even his sister is cheering on the opposition… seems Janine Kallis has landed a job as a cheerleader, not for the Royal Challengers (Kallis’ team), but rather the Chennai Super Kings!

"I hit one beautifully but it went straight to cover. A couple of feet either side of him and it was four, so I was feeling pretty fed up. Then, as I started walking off, I looked around at the scoreboard and there was my sister Janine dancing to celebrate my wicket!" - Kallis had nowhere to hide when he lost his wicket against the Super Kings, and while his older sister had no choice in the team she was hired for she could have shown the poor chap a bit more sympathy as Kallis explained…

"The Bangalore girls actually come from America so there was no chance of Janine being with us. I don't mind really... except she really did seem to be doing her job very well when I was out. She didn't have to look so pleased...!"

IT’S GOING TO BE A MESSY BREAKUP

"All the moving so far has been by Australia and New Zealand. That's the truth of it. You get to a point where you can't move any more. Australia and New Zealand have shifted. At this stage, all we have had out of South Africa is a press release, which I've held up to the light and I still don't understand it. I'm sure we'll hear more this week. It's a very difficult negotiation." - John O’Neill is tired of SA not committing to his plan…

O’Neill can’t seem to understand why nasty old SA does not want to play ball. Why wouldn’t you want to kill off you premier domestic competition, spend more time on the road and cater to everybody but yourself? Hmm…

It seems South Africa also wanted to start earlier, but the Australians did not want to be disadvantaged in the tournament. You’re kidding, right? The SA teams have been buggered every season since the inception of the tournament with hellishly long tours, suspect refs and even more dodgy citing officers, but Oz is disadvantaged?

"For the last 14 years South African teams have been annually disadvantaged by the length of our tour so we know better than anyone about ‘disadvantage’, but there’s simply no way that Australia or New Zealand would be disadvantaged to anything like the same extent by this structure." - Andy Marinos in response to O’Neill’s claims.

We couldn’t have said it any better, Andy.

GETTING NASTY IN THE RING

There was a time in boxing when pre-bout press conference were more entertaining than the fights themselves — remember Tyson vs Holyfield? Tyson vs Lewis? Tyson vs anybody? Derogatory comments were not just anticipated, they were expected! But now, just as the great characters in boxing have disappeared, so has the hype…

"I like Manny and commend him for everything he has achieved but when I get into that ring, I'm a nasty fighter and that's what I intend to be." – Ricky Hatton plays nice before his fight with Manny Pacquiao…

"I know Ricky Hatton has trained hard. He's in impressive condition. I respect him. Good person. Nice guy. I like it better when people make me angry. It helps me focus on the fight. I'd like to remind everybody there's nothing personal. We just do our job to make people happy, especially the Filipino people. I will do my best to bring honour to our country." – Ditto for Pacquiao.

He’s a nice guy? Honour and respect? It’s the death of boxing I tell you!


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