The 2008 Tri-Nations has come and gone, and once again New Zealand have walked away with the spoils. We took the opportunity to put together a little awards ceremony in our own style...

There were some outstanding players and performances, but as always, plenty of controversy and colour. We have selected some of the best and worst moments of the tournament. Enjoy!

Player of the Tournament: Dan Carter.

Forward of the Tournament: Richie McCaw.

Back of the Tournament: Jean de Villiers.

Newcomer of the Year: Tendai 'Beast' Mtawarira.

Try of the Tournament: Ricky Januarie's amazing last-gasp chip-and-chase score in Dunedin.

Best Performance: South Africa, winning 53-8 against Australia in Johannesburg.

Worst Performance: South Africa, losing 15-27 v Australia in Durban.

Turning point of the Tournament: New Zealand's 39-10 win over Australia in Auckland.

Thanks for the memories (Kleenex Award): Percy Montgomery.

Runners-up: Greg 'Yoda' Somerville, Dan Vickerman.

Time Magazine Award for Most Newsworthy Person: Peter de Villiers.

The Murray Mexted Award for the Quote of the Year: It was quite a task choosing from an extensive Peter de Villiers collection, but the winner is: "Maybe I should just give the job back to the whites."

Honourable mentions should however go to these gems:

"If you look at the Bible, Joseph started out in the pit and ended up in the palace. There was a moerse lot of kak in between."

"The same people who threw their robes on the ground when Jesus rode on a donkey were the same people who crowned him and hit him with sticks and stuff like that, and were the same people who said afterwards how we shouldn't have done that, he's the son of God. So that's exactly what we do. You have to look at history is repeating itself, and I'm not saying that I'm God."

Howard Stern Award for Most Controversial Incident: Brad Thorn's spear-tackle on John Smit in Wellington.

The Y2K award for the Biggest Anti-Climax: Percy Montgomery's 100th Test debacle.

The 'Hoff' Award for the Biggest Cult Following: Beeeeeeeeaaaaaaaast!

The Nadia Comaneci Award: Ricky Januarie's hand- stand/summersault/cartwheel after the Boks' win in Dunedin.

The Grudge Award: Tony Woodcock for scoring all five of his Test tries against Australia.

The Weakest Link Award: Matt 'Doughnut' Dunning for getting scrummed off the park inside 30 minutes by Tendai 'Beast' Mtawarira in Johannesburg.

Roy Keane Award for the Worst Tackle: Brad Thorn's spear- tackle on John Smit in Wellington.

Judge Dredd Award: This goes to the judicial commission that sentenced Brad Thorn to a lame one-week suspension.

Waterworld Award for the Biggest Box-Office Bomb: Backseat Instinct II, starring Peter de Villiers.

Weigh-Less Slimmer of the Year: Piri Weepu.

2008 Top of the Pops Awards:
Can't buy me love — Luke Watson
I am the Walrus — Matt Dunning
Johnny B Goode — Brad Thorn
Lend me your comb — Percy Montgomery

The Colosseum Award: Durban's Absa Stadium crowd, booing the Springboks off after their loss to Australia. There was plenty of vitriol amongst the Bok faithful after an abject display saw the Boks thumped for the third Tri- Nations match in a row.

Escape from Alcatraz Award: This surely has to go to New Zealand coach Graham Henry, who has been under heavy fire from the media and the Kiwi public since the All Blacks' World Cup fiasco.

The Duck Egg Award: To South Africa for their fat, round zero against the All Blacks in Cape Town.

Three years is a long time: In 2005, All Blacks hooker Keven Mealamu broke South African hearts with a last-gasp try that gave his team victory, and the Tri-Nations title, in Dunedin. In 2008, Mealamu's defensive blunder allowed Ricky Janaurie to skip through a ruck and set up the chip-'n-chase that gave his team an historic victory.

Selector of the Tournament: Cedric Frolick — yip, that's the same guy that criticised the selection of World Cup winners Fourie du Preez and Percy Montgomery — ahead of Janurie and Conrad Jantjes — for the Test at Newlands. Frolick said of Monty's selection: "Conrad Jantjes is, on present form, the number-one fullback. It is worrying that people make decisions with their heart to give someone [Montgomery] his 100th Test cap."

Individual Performance of the Tournament: McCaw's performance in Auckland was huge, Carter, despite his poor goal-kicking, was immense in Cape Town. But can anybody argue with Jongi Nokwe's four tries against the Wallabies in Johannesburg?

The Hindsight Award: To Peter de Villiers, after Nokwe's four- try performance. Bear in mind that Nokwe was playing only because of injuries to Bryan Habana and JP Pietersen, but after his four tries, Div said: "Nothing is a risk if you don't take chances in life. I've always believed in him, from the start. He performed well for us today." And the injuries just made it that much easier to pick him...

To the Newlands wind: Thanks for making Dan Carter miss five kicks at goal — you saved the Boks 14 points. Pity you also made Percy miss his two kicks at goal...

The Vuvuzela Award: To those little Vodacom djembe's that created such a din, first at Newlands, and then in the remaining home Tri-Nations Tests. It was kinda nice, but not quite as irritating as those vuvuzela's.

The Britney Spears Comeback Award: To Jimmy Cowan who was arrested three times this year for 'disorderly behaviour'. He put his off-field demons aside, however, and ended the Tri-Nations as arguably the best number 9 on offer. During the tournament he admitted that without rugby he would have been doomed, saying: "Rugby's probably been my saviour because I was pretty close to losing it at one stage."

365

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